pawas neer and the bare cupboard...

ok this one is not about sachin...
yeah, i know he hit a 200, got the highest runs, made history, blah, blah, blah... there is nothing new in it, sachin was just doing his job... no, no, its not playing cricket, that one is for the lesser beings in the world of the game of bat, ball and 22 yard pitch...sachin's job is to play... no, no not cricket... i told u it was for the pontings, dhonis, smiths and sehwags... sachin plays a much higher one.. his job is to play GOD... and on the 25th of this month at gwaliar he did just that... he just did his job... (well, that too calls for much cheering and celebrations and hysteria, as very few in our esteemed country do their jobs well)... but thats that...
i m punching the key-board just to talk about me... (yes i m the most self-centred one on this planet..but then maybe its my job)... on the 18th or (maybe 19th) day of my self-exile i decided i needed to do something about myself... so i did some self assesment.... trust me, its fun... i added, substarcted, multiplied, divided and sachined (that is when u do something mathematically immpossible like hitting 200 in 50 overs) and sibbaled (this one u know) all the known and unknown factors in my life... and found an answer... siffer (0).... shunya...
now, dont shun it... '0' is the one of most important discoveries of all time (havnt u seen manoj bharat kumar's purab aur paschim)... but if its presiding as the sum of all ur achivements in life, its not pretty... so i re-checked, re-calculated, re-sachined, re-sibbaled and even tharoored (i mean twittered) some f my friends for help... but the result was the same.... 0.
i thought of all the shiny, hard-earned medals, sheilds and trophies in my cupboard back home... and then cancled them out.... yes my cupboard was empty... as bare as the wicket column of dale steyn in the last match...
i dont know... what shoud one do when... when all u have got in ur life is an empty slate...
one option was to deny everything (like the pakistani secy. did when asked about hafeez saeed)... or i cud have screamed foul play and gone and jumped from the burj khalifa (or maybe the civic center at minto road, its nearer)...
or maybe it was a chance to stats afresh... to write new things on the empty slate...(by the way why r we saying slate, it wud be better to say laptop nwdays)... to do something which does not get wiped out by the waves of life's ups and downs...
well, the last one sounded coolest.. so i ve decided to do something meaningful... to get that bloody siffer out of my book... i m on that path now... but the score is still the big 0... maybe i ve to something bloody big... is writing this blog counts?

P.S.- all my posts are folllowing one single theme nwdays, my miseries, my realizations and my inaction... mybe i m getting the MADHUR BHANDARKAR syndrome.. wat say u....

kis kaam ke yeh resolution....

do din ki chutti, valentine day ko aap offc na aao to girlfriend bane na bane, kam se kam reputation to ban hi jati hai...

the real test is now....

tomorrow is saturday... the real test begins now..

मेरा नाम खान तो नहीं है...

जब मैं बारहवी में था तो जिस कालोनी में रहा करता था वहां खेल का एक बड़ा मैदान था... हम वहां क्रिकेट खेला करते थे... एक लड़का वहां खेलने आया करता था, किसी बड़े मिनिस्टर का बेटा था... एक दिन तीन बार वो जीरो पर आउट हुआ ... उसने अगले दिन कहा यहाँ अब फूटबाल खेला जाएगा... मना करने पर उसका कहना था ये खेलो या कुछ नहीं खेलने दूंगा .... मरते क्या न करते वहां फूटबाल खेला जाने लगा... कुछ हम जैसे थे जिन्होंने खेलना ही छोड़ दिया ....
बात बहुत पुरानी है लेकिन आज फिर याद aayi है... शायद उस लड़के का चेहरा मुझे आज फिर टीवी पर नज़र आया... nahin uska chehra nahin tha... kisi aur ka tha... kisi thackre ka... lekin khel bhi waisa hi tha... maidan bhi... aur zid bhi... iss baar bhi khelna chod du kya doston kya kehte ho... kya kiya jaye...

being alone..being personnal....

now it must be a new world record..I arrived at office on time...even the liftman was amazed...
ok, apologies for not writing lastnight... but things have not been going my way... so, today i decided to take a break... to do something different... i saw the Qutub again... i have seen it once already... but this time it looked different.. it was..arrr..it was more personnal i guess... i was me and the qutub.. no one else to share the experience... no one to show off my knowladge to... me and iltutmish, haaa... iltutmish or altamash... it was something else... i dont know why it made me smile.. maybe it was the silence...yes, definately it was the silence...
i ve not ridden an auto-rickshaw since the exile(!)... i ve ridden in buses and used metro.. i can even recognize now some of the faces in the metro... there is cute little group of girls...who speak in some language i dont recognize... and there is one guy with his left hand in a sling...
ok, ok i mst stop now... meanwhile i ve regained some control aftr the madness of last two days.. maybe (just maybe) i wud scrap through...
but one thing surely amazes me... i m enjoying my self-exile... i never thought this wud happen... maybe its because its just the beginning... maybe i will go beserk in some days... till then i m enjoying being alone, having my life more personnal...

and i thought i cud get away...i must have been daydreaming...

ha ha ha.. i dont know whether to laugh or to cry... maybe the best thing to do wud be to kick my adjacent chair...but that wud injure jhaji...and we are already shortstaffed...
my exile is in the third day today...and it already seems that all hell has broken loose...things that were not happening, and i even have not even dreamt of happening...are, well..... happenning...
i dont knw wat the future holds...i ve long ago given up on guessing the future and recently given up on making plans..and yet my self-exile is nothing but a plan... do u see the irony?...ha ha ha...all plans go wrong...and this one is going stray like..well..like a dog with its tail on fire..ok, thats not even funny but this is the best i m getting out of my system rite now..just three days and its looks over already..damn my luck...
anyways still trying to hold on to it...i know u r nt praying for me..so its me alone...will see some of u on 6th march...ciao...

30 days of solitude..

first of all, i must apologize to you GG marquez for borrowing ur title..but as my garndfather used to say, it you have to borrow then at least borrow big...so here goes...
now this one comes a day late...i ve just finished the second day of my self imposed, sanjana-suggested exile.. yes i am okay...but its not been a cakewalk either.. in these couple of days there had been many a times when i ve felt like sharing a joke or telling a tale to my friends.. there had been times i ve almost said..go to hell...and picked up my phone to dial...(i was saved by no balance in my cell)..but i survived... and i m not gonna give up...i m gonna endure my own 30 days of solitude...i shud not worry..i have my brain and my heart to talk to..i m in exellent company
yes i broke the rule once too...but then my exile must not cost anyone his future...
will be back... ciao.. and see u on 7th march....